The Pinged Hobbit

1. When you are sad — I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.

2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile — I will know you are plotting something that I must become involved in.

4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused — I will use little words.

7. When you are sick — Stay away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever the hell you have.

8. When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath…. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask; ‘because you are my friend’.